collective :: Beloved Aoi
contact :: email : icq : aim
wishlist :: Amazon : FlaxArt


Catt's books

Four and Twenty Blackbirds
Wings to the Kingdom
Not Flesh Nor Feathers
Those Who Went Remain There Still
Dreadful Skin
The Living Dead 2
The Thackery T. Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities: Exhibits, Oddities, Images, and Stories from Top Authors and Artists
Bewere the Night
The Inexplicables
Dead Witch Walking
The Good, the Bad, and the Undead
Every Which Way But Dead
A Fistful of Charms

Catt's favorite books »

Cir-El’s extra hands arrived a few days ago, and they are pretty adorable. I feel a little silly, because out of three pairs, I will probably only use one.

Hand. One hand. Not one pair.

The loose-grip hands are nice, but have no real use on a flying tank character, unless they’re showing off by bending a steel bar. There’s an amusing pair that I think of as “posing senshi” hands, the left has thumb and forefinger extended in almost a gun pose, and the right is basically a fist with the first two fingers straight out and together, like a scout-salute. There’s a slim chance I’ll use the right hand on her, but most likely I’d use it for a couple pictures and be done with it. That just leaves the bad fists, which would hurt you more than your opponent in a fight, but would be quite good for a hands-on-hips pose. I think they’re actually meant to be a cutesy catgirl curl, but…ah…no. No, we are not doing that. Not even if this wasn’t meant to be Cir-El. Just, no.

I could technically use both bad-fists, but I’ve never really been into the fists on hips, heroic ta-da! look. So, one fist on hip, the other a relaxed hand at her side. Still a bit of a pose, but its a more natural one, and it seems more confident to me, anyway. Like, “I don’t have to do the cliched playacting intimidation pose, I just need to show up, and we both know it.” Yeah.

Not really sure what to do with the other hands. I could sell them off, I suppose. With my luck that would be when I suddenly eveloped a need/use for them. Seems stupid keeping them around juse in case, though.

Oh, well. Back to waiting for the wig. *sinks down in chair*

Progress! …?

Cir-El boots – check!
Cir-El suit (base) – check!
Cir-El wig-cap – check!

I have also ordered the wig, and some extra hands for her, although they are coming from China and Japan respectively, so that could take a while.

I’m see-sawing a bit on how I want to do the cape, and I have not fully decided how I’m going to style the symbol/S.

Oh, yeah, and her head it totally still not done. Ha. So. There’s that. ¬_¬

Does this make me a Futuresmith?

Something in me seems to be wanting this year to be The Year I Finish Cir-El. I can’t really blame it, Cir-El has been languishing long enough that I actually forgot that the pale Obitsu I’ve had laying around was in fact bought for her and didn’t remember until after I had (re)checked it for skintone match, and done a happy little wiggle that it was perfect.

Like, probably a good twenty minutes or more after. Yeah.

The problem is entirely me, honestly, aside from having a really bad time with my depression all this past year, I have no confidence in myself to do the make-up bits, and possibly less that I can actually replicate it symmetrically should I manage one side (this is why she has one eyebrow).

But I want to do her, I want to have her, I want it to be done.

It doesn’t hurt that I think I have actually found the perfect wig. Or, rather, the wig I want, since most of the pics I’ve found, her hair looks like its in motion, even when she is not. Its short, its black, its got a bit of curl, and I LIKE IT, which is probably as close to perfection as I’m likely to get. I’m pretty sure I have her boots and suit worked out, although her “emblem” is a stick in my craw, because I haaaaaaaaaaaaates it, preeeecioussssssssssss. Like, I get it, she is a False Supergirl, so she gets this stupid messy S scrawled on her suit as kind of a clue, but its ugly, and they’re not even terribly consistent about it, so why stick to it when I hate it? Answer – dunno, so I probably won’t, but I’m not sure what I will do just yet. I also have ideas about the cape (primarily, making it a separate piece), and her gloves (more fingerless arm-warmers, really, because doll gloves are really just fugly mittens).

As a bonus, I have Christmas money, so I can probably actually assemble the things I need/want. Which means that it really is just me, and my self-sabotage and lack of confidence in my abilities that is standing between me and actually having Cir-El done and striking a pose on my goddamn shelf already.

…here’s crossing our fingers and toes, I guess.

The rest is silence.



Great. Awesome. I knew it was a mistake a split second after I let Atahualpa update, but I was dead tired, and I was stupid, and now look, everything is fucked. And stupid. And ugly.

So basically my blog is me, now.

I…I just don’t even have the strength to deal with this right now. Or maybe ever.

Fuck everything.

edit: Well, I fixed the sidebars a little? Everything still sucks, and now my head hurts, so that is all she wrote for now. However long “now” proves to be.

I’m pretty sure I can fly….


I totally apologize for cringing when you cast the Glee girl (even though I would still kind of rather have Chyler as Kara). She is totally making it work. I’m kind of having trouble with hot, successful, competent Jimmy James Olson, BUT I AM ENJOYING HAVING THE TROUBLE.

Oh my god, I need a time machine. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


Oh, god. Pullip is doing the Outers. I had hoped, especially since they had already announced Chibi-Moon, and if they did two different Usagis, Tuxedo Kamen, all the Inner Senshi, AND fucking Horn Head, and then stiffed us on the Outers, there would have been a lot of fan anger.

I was also kind of dreading it, though, because monies. I can actually use the price in my favor to a degree with the Inners, by telling myself I can only get/ask for one, and then basically falling into a stalemate between Mercury and Jupiter. Something about Pluto, though, she just wins. They haven’t even teased or officially announced her yet, but she will be mine. Oh, yes, she will be mine.

…..guess we all know what I’ll be asking for next Christmas. Or birthday, depending on release dates. Fucking Setsuna. Fucking Pullip. Fucking Groove!


Not having the best April so far, depression-wise. Better than the other year, when it rained for the entire month, and I started to contemplate killing myself just to make the rain stop. Still not good, though.

Down enough that on a few different occasions, my mother asked me if an item I was looking at might be something I wanted for my birthday, and I couldn’t even answer. I finally came up with something yesterday, and I’m both timidly hopeful I might get it, and already spinning anxious guilt tummy in fear that I will.


And just to add some stupid to the mix, I just found myself looking on eBay for possible related items I could maybe get down the road. For something I don’t have. And don’t know if I ever will. Just to fucking distract myself from the emotional suck. YAY.

Just shoot me now. It’ll save everyone a lot of time and money and heartache in the long run. And maybe I’ll even get a decent sleep out of it.



All of the tears, forever.


Blame Jim Butcher’s Twitter feed – What Color Lightsaber Would You Wield?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

That actually reminds me of how I played KotOR. I’d go around being the nice girl, biting back annoyance, playing the hero…until I remembered that unlike in most RPGs, I didn’t have to. And then I’d do something horrible. This led to the love interest being really confused and conflicted. He liked me, because I was so giving and helpful and protected the weak! …and he was kind of upset about it, because I killed everyone who mouthed off to me. Good times.