Oh, little girl. I do not know you, but I love you. SO. MUCH.

Anyway. I'm trying out a gift card for cash exchange, and I’m a little nervous about it, so let’s distract ourselves — with DOLLS! Totally shocking, I know.

One of these things is not like the others; one of these things does not belong.

Hmm. Hmm…who should we focus on first…eh, let’s start with Tristen, she’s got the least photos. And by ‘least,’ I mean ‘one.’ I was a little preoccupied with the bigger girls when I was taking pics the other day, and she got a little ignored. I know, she doesn’t really fit in, but this started out as a continuation of Pressies!, and she was bought with part of the b-day money my brother sent me. So…there she is. She’s the original Tristen from the Moxie Teenz line, and I had been kind of hovering around her for a while, but I was hesitant, primarily because of the inset eyes. When painted doll eyes go wrong, its unfortunate. When inset eyes go wrong, you get creepy zombie dolls. Case in point – LiV dolls. They photograph beautifully, and tend to be soulless, wonk-eyed brainslurpers in person. But then someone listed a NIB Tristen cheap on eBay, and I snapped that bitch up.

Have I ever mentioned I have an eye obsession?

And I am so glad I did! I want more, y’all. She does have a few problems (her knee joints are a bit weak, her one wrist joint is a little FUBAR and can’t bend one way, her wig is of a lower-quality hair that gets rather fly-away) but all in all, I think she’s pretty great. She’s got joints coming out the wazoo, and a pretty face, and her clothes are a little Hot Topic/Forver 21 for my taste, but I do like the color scheme, and aside from the poofy skirt, it all seems pretty comfy (that zipper-tooth hem looks rad, but I would not want to wear it). And the eyelashes that annoyed me so much when I was looking at pictures online? I actually kind of like them in person. They blend more with her facepaint than you’d think, and frankly, anything that brings attention to those eyes is a good thing. I’m seriously looking forward to seeing what the other Teenz eyes look like, because Tristen’s are phenomenal. They’re multicolor. Up-close, from the right angle, they seem to be a slightly greyish blue, with a gold ring aroung the pupil, but most of the time, from most angles, they’re purple. Big, lavendar eyes, surrounded by black lashes. Guh. Crushing so hard, here. *sigh*

Hey, pretty lady, watcha looking at?

Moving clockwise, we have Evan, my 2008 Ultra Basic Tyler Wentworth Blonde. I love that face sculpt. I originally fell in love with the Redhead (that’s her standing behind Evan, we’ll get to her), and I liked her so much that I wound up falling for all the 2008 UB Tylers. Unfortunately, I now have the two easiest to find ones. I’ve only seen the Raven for sale three times, and the con-exclusive Brunette that I’m not even entirely sure exists I have seen precisely never. Evan herself eluded me for several months before I snagged her as a decently-priced BIN. Had I waited even a day, I’m sure someone else would’ve found her and grabbed her. Her clothes are a little boring at the moment, as the poor dear is still in her default bodysuit, but what can you do, Tonner-sized clothes are expensive.

She lacks Carter's visual drama, but she's a beauty in her own right.

I’m thinking bright blue would be fantastic on her. She lovely regardless — hell, she manages to pull off orange lipstick, how the hell do you do that? — but the right color really gives the UBs oomph. As evidenced by her cousin….

That HAIR. That FACE. ....oh, hey, Esme's there, too.

Carter, my darling beloved 2008 UB TW Redhead. Yes, that’s the Esme I got for my birthday beside her, wearing Carter’s old suit, in fact, but focus, people. Look at Caaarteeeeeeeeer. She’s always beautiful, you do Tonner-related searches on eBay, and the UB Redhead shows up over and over as a model for dresses and jewelry; she’s just a great canvas. But that simple espresso brown wrap-top just makes her hair and her eyes and her skintone look amazing. It and the jeans are both from Liquid Sunshine Online. I’ve had the top for a while, but I only just got the jeans with the other half of my b-day money, so that is why Carter is in this post*. That and I luff her omg.

Tall, red, and gorgeous.

Uh-oh. Something got their attention.

Oh, yeah. They're up to something.

LOOK AT THAT HAIR, HOLYSHIT.

….sorry about that. Where were we? Oh, right, Esme!

And she's out of focus.

Bitch has some kind of anti-photo superpowers, I don’t even know. I admit that I am not that great at taking pictures (for all I like doing it), but this is ridiculous. As long as she’s with Carter (BFFs!), things turn out fine. But the minute I try and take a just-Esme picture, its out of focus, or there’s shadow that is somehow ONLY ON HER. No, really:

And now its too dark.

See? Its a bright, lovely day, AND ESME STILL MANAGES TO BE IN SHADOW WTF.

AND THOSE ARE THE ONES THAT TURNED OUT. For given value of “turned out.” I dunno, maybe she’s shyer than I initially thought, and Carter helps her chillax. I mean, they were pretty obviously plotting something. It just better not involve Esme getting clothes, because my wallet has cartoon moths fluttering out of it, and my Paypal account has a grand total of $.38. This well is all tapped-out. …..maybe for Christmas, though.

*You are now wondering why Evan is there, then, yes? Its very simple: because, yes. ;p

FIRST UP! 13-inch Supergirl, from Tonner’s DC Stars Collection!

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks!

Now, I already have their original 16-inch Supergirl, and I love her so very, very much. So I was actually hesitant about getting or asking for the 13-incher, because they are soooooo similar. I still wish they had picked a different costume. Its not like there aren’t enough to choose from: her original one-piece blue dress, the cute shorts and v-neck ensemble from the 70s, either of the more modern two-piece ensembles — not to mention that period in the 80s when she had multiple different outfits in a single issue. They didn’t really have to do basically the same outfit twice. And I hate the glitter. I hate the glitter even more for having fought her into those glittery damn boots. But I really like her. I like her actual face much better than her prototype face.

Come fly with me.

She just looks so sweet and serene. Her hair is stiff like a helmet, but I actually don’t even mind that so much; the swept-back look gives her a feeling of movement, and its very different from her larger counterpart’s, even though they’re both blonde and curly.

NEXT! 13-inch Wonder Woman, also from Tonner’s DC Star’s Collection!

And I was all, '*PING! POW!* What now, bitch?'

Wonder, wonder! Wonder Womaaaaan~! *cough* Anyhoo. Diana doesn’t really have anybody to be compared to — I had the 12-inch Mego WW as a kid, and that was the last time I had a WW doll. I like WW, but Catwoman is my favorite, and for actual heroes, well…I have a Supergirl fixation, let me put it that way. The closest I have is my 16-inch Donna Troy, who is in my top three favorite dolls, and who happens to be Wonder Woman’s twin sister/clone. I love that doll so much it is making me fall for the character. That…that is a lot to live up to.

Well, hey, there.

…I’ll be honest, she doesn’t exactly live up to that. But its a high bar, and she is widdle. And I like her. I like her face, which, technically, is the same face as the 13-inch Supergirl (…and the 13-inch Catwoman, Black Canary, and Artemis of Bana Mighdall, oy), but while Kara seems calm, Diana seems determined. I am not sure what she is determined about. Possibly not falling out of her top. The big plastic =W= makes the whole area seem bulky and ill-fitting, and yet she has no clear straps to hold it up like the full-sized version did. The tiara’s too big, but often, the smaller things get, the harder they are to work with, so they may have gone with slightly large rather than lotsly crappy. She does have earrings, but I left them in the box. Too much hassle, not enough payoff. The belt actually really bugs me — its too big, it doesn’t sit right (especially if she’s on her stand), and the fabric’s weird (and glittery, dammit). The points curl outward, although that might just be on mine. Also, those fucking glitter boots, fuck you. …hers went on a lot easier than Kara’s, though, I’ll give her that. Like I said, I like her, but…not so much her clothes. Part of me wants to make a little jumpsuit and turn her into Chibi Donna, and the rest of me is trying very hard to stifle that part.

And when I touch you, I feel happy inside.

And they look so cute together, don’t you think? Yes, they are holding hands. Shut up, I don’t have a to-scale Batman, okay? Or, any Batman. All my male supeheroes are 6-inch action figures, and most of them are from Marvel. KARA AND DI NEED LOVE, TOO, YOU GUYS.

Their widdle faces!

One last picture, of their faces together, so you can see how Tonner manages to use the same face mold without it looking like the same girl in different Halloween costumes or something. A good face paint job is important. TAKE NOTES, MATTEL.

And FINALLY! Violette Esme, from Tonner’s Tyler Wentworth Collection.

You know you like this.

So. Pretty. None of her pictures turned out very well, unfortunately, even for this one I had to lighten it a good bit just so you could see her face. I’ll take more pictures at some point when she has clothes. Or at least underwear. Not that Esme seemed to care about being nude, I think she was more embarrassed that her hair needed combing. She’s one of the older dolls, so she’s missing the articulation of either of my Tylers (both from 2008), and if I ever got brave enough and found a cheap enough body I might consider transplanting her, but mostly I don’t mind. I love her face, and her blue eyes, and the way she seems to be considering something that she may or may not share with you, and may or may not bite you in the ass. I kind of picture her as being a little bit Barney from HIMYM, a lot of Tess from Suburgatory, a sprinkling of the titular B from Apt 23, and maybe a helping of Booth from Bones. And if that doesn’t fold your brain in half, I don’t know what will.

Bah. I am not up to thinking about this right now. I’m going to bed.

You...you don't know what 'pro' means, do you?

Really? They rocked it like pros? Truly? Hey! Do you think maybe its because that’s what they do? Professionally? THUS BEING THE VERY PROS THEY ROCKED MSG LIKE?

You make me hurt so bad, Yahoo. What did I ever do to you?