My kingdom for DVDs of “Kids, Incorporated.” I would settle for tapes, really, I’d just shove them at my brother and ask him to convert them for the next gift-giving occasion. …actually, maybe I wouldn’t. He can’t really be trusted with anything that he himself does not have a vested interest in. Still. I lust it deeply.

And god, I just realized — I think Stacy Ferguson was the first time I had a crush on a girl. Which makes it both funny and sad that I cannot stand Fergie.