Its funny, I hadn’t even realized that the St John’s Wort was also helping my anxiety (I guess its depression-related?). And then I lost track of how many pills were left in the bottle, and so didn’t realize I needed to order more until there were only two left, and I completely ran out sometimes last week and the fucking company only YESTERDAY processed my fucking order and guess who’s been on the mopey weepy train the last four days?

I had actually forgotten about the stupid, anxious stomach knots that I had been starting to have nearly every. fucking. day. Right up until this morning. When they moved back in.

And now my stomach’s a big achy ball of sick and my throat’s so closed up from the idea of tears that it fucking hurts and I was living like this. Constantly. And I know its only been like, a couple months away from it, but I honestly can’t remember how to do this anymore. I always kind of thought of myself as a pathetic loser, but I’m starting to think I was a superwoman for ever getting out of fucking bed.