Ok, guys, I can put up with some serious shit when I am in the mood for fanfic and you’re serving up my current jones. (Seriously, you don’t want to know just how much of one BSB fic I read back in day before a certain incessant, idiotic, completely erroneous description just got too much and I had to stop before I started killing people and carving “sapphires are not green” into their corpses.)

Currently, I am on an NCIS Gibbs/Abby kick, and I can handle the mediocre-at-best writing. I can suffer through formatting so bad that you just know the authors haven’t passed an English class since about the fifth grade. I can even hurry (cringingly) past the inconsistent characterization and grit my teeth through dramatic!fainting. But this?

Her red lips were limp

That’s a deal-breaker, folks. It…see…they…lips, people. And. I just can’t. You broke me, okay? You have crashed my brain into the side of your idiocy, and there is nothing left but lumpy, bloody, road-smears. I hope you’re happy. This is why we can’t have nice things.