I hate the fucking announcers at the Olympics. Our men’s relay team pulls in the win by a fucking HAND’S LENGTH and was the focus on how great everyone swam? On how Keller, after having the lead his teammates got for him eaten up in 1.5 seconds, basically outswam the guy who, to hear them tell it, was the Australian team? Nope. It was all about Phelps. Phelpsphelpsfuckingphelps. Don’t get me wrong, he seems like a nice guy, he’s a hell of a swimmer, but he’s not the only person in the water, and hey, y’know, some of them are nice and cute and talented and humble and helped us win, too.

Assholes.