In the beginning, there was Freedrive, and it was cool. There were 20megs of free, online storage space. Then, one day, Freedrive changed to 50megs, still free, and you could save things from online into your Freedrive, just by entering the URL, which none of the other free storage services were doing, and that was faboo.

And then, after some time had passed, Freedrive realized this was the not the most financially intelligent move they had ever made, and announced that their free service was going back to 20megs, and anything you had over that you’d better download in the next 60 days or kiss it goodbye. And that was sucky, but you understood, and either grumbled and forked over the cash, or grumbled and starting downloading.

And then, after a bit more time had passed, they announced that their free service was taking a dive to only 5megs, and once again, it was move it or lose it. You see, what they didn’t know — or perhaps simply did not care — was that the reason a “review” of their “Freedrive Test Drive users” showed that 5megs would be just fine, was because the only people who still used their lame asses were people who didn’t really use or need storage space, anyway, and those who were just broke little fuckheads.

Take a wild guess which category your storyteller falls under.

So. Freedrive. Cool to faboo to suck to Evil Useless Motherfuckers in under three years. And what is our moral, children? Yes, that’s right. Kill them all. Who said Xena wasn’t educational?