And welcome to my depression. Fuck. I woke up at 3am, and felt so crappy and tired I went back to bed at 8. Where I promptly couldn’t sleep because my brain was all loud, and I wound up crying over non-existant things. Woke up again at 1, because of some bizarre sound that I now think only existed in my head, because nothing was on to make the noise, and no one else seemed to hear anything strange, anyway.

And now its 4, and I’ve tried eating, and I’ve tried reading, and I made sure to take my stupid fucking iron pill, even though the only thing that really happens when I forget it is headaches and vague illness (and even that requires me to forget for a few days in a row).

And I still feel like shit. I feel depressed and alienated and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna cry soon, and I’d really like to just go back to bed (again), except then I know I’ll cry, and I hate crying more than just about anything.

Even more than me.