Ok, so what the hell was that?!?! I mean, I knew going in that Valentine was bad. I remember watching the ads and thinking, “That really looks like something that could’ve been good, and then wasn’t.” And Amelia actually saw the damn thing in the theaters, and I seem to recall her main reaction being, “Just….don’t.”

But the book was actually pretty good. I mean, it wasn’t gripping, but it was entertaining, and you weren’t totally sure who the psycho former-nerd was until he stood before the last girl and went, “Hey! Gonna kill ya now.” None of which can be said about the film. Which I don’t think is actually based on the book, anyway. I mean, half the names are wrong, the pacing is wrong, the background is wrong, the murders are wrong….it really shoud’ve said, “Based loosely on a vague recap that we heard a few years back from a friend that we don’t talk to anymore.”

And can I just say, that while yes, I do get the point of giving the killer nosebleeds, it would’ve been so much more convincing if he’d gotten them when he was younger, as well. Just, y’know. Continuity. >,