I woke up this morning

with a bad hangover

and my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time —

its detachable.

……alright, no. But you know what’s so? Today is MEGGER’S BIRTHDAY!!! *throws streamers and confetti, looses hundreds of balloons and wheels out a cake* Wheeee! Meggy! So how old are you now, sweetie? Cause if its a big one, I’m gonna have to break out the ice cream and strippers, too….