I, ah, I appear to be mildly obsessed with Lance Bass. And no, re-reading that sentence will not make the name change. Nor will it make it make more sense, nor will it magically become a joke. And yes, I am going to hell, but we already knew that.

I’ve always been kind of entranced by him, on account of his head being plastic and all, and there is something undeniably fey about the man. What can I say, I like guys who make you stare at them for a minute, then turn to your best friend and go, “…..is he gay?”

Altho to be perfectly honest, I think my real reaction, back when Nsync first started being everywhere, was something closer to “…..is it me, or is he plastic? And possibly gay.” And well, there wasn’t actually anyone in the room.

But, anyway. The frightening five were on Leno tonight, and yes I was bored enough to watch it. Lance was wearing the most hideous pants, and for some reason he seems unable to shave under his chin, but he managed to find shirts that actually went with his pants, and at least he wasn’t walking around with a giant flower on his back, unlike someone else in the group….yeah, alright, so I can’t actually tell Chris and Joey apart. Except that Chris is marginally more mutastic. I think.

So, ah, I pretty much sat in stupefied awe at the reaction these brats got just by walking, or speaking. Or occasionally just breathing. I thought it was cool that their entire fan section cooed when the Smooshed-Headed One said he loved Britney. I wasn’t expecting teeny-boppers to be supportive of girlfriends who weren’t them. And it was oddly educational in a pop-culture sort of way. And I think I want to be JC, cause he’s adorable, and entertaining, and gets to sit near Lance, and I swear you can almost hear the wind whistling thru his ears.

I think what made me go from vaguely entranced to mildly obsessed, tho, was the fact that Lance didn’t say a thing during the whole interview. He just kind of sat behind JC and watched everyone else talk. He raised his hand when Jay asked if any of them were single, tho, like he was twelve or something. And when they were asked who lies the most…the others all volunteered him. And still he didn’t say a word, just raised an eyebrow and allowed his face to be skooshed for a close-up with this “what the hell did I do” expression. For some reason, that was just incredibly endearing to me.

And my god, those pants were hideous…..

sounds like andras jones, “superlame”